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Bridgette: Hello my name is Bridgette Mongeon the host of the inspirational channel of spot on radio.com welcome to generational podcast where three generations of Christian women will be sharing our thoughts about different issues and aspects of life my daughter  and co host Christina Diliberto is on vacation so my mom Barbara Ingersoll and I, will be sharing today  and we are still traveling through the darkside. Mom are you there?

Barbara:  Yes, I am here

Bridgette: Your there, thanks mom,

Barbara:  Mmm hm  

Bridgette: Mom and I have been traveling through some of our past and you have been walking this journey with us if you have been flowing the last few podcasts the last two podcasts where about hope and how God could reach out and give us both hope in the middle of a horrific situation and today we would like to share with you how God brought himself and made himself real to us l in our lives.

My coming to know the lord, as I said, I had sought God for  a very long time a I talked about the alter I made in my room, and promising I would search for god even feeling like I needed to know and would find God at my first communion and feeling disappointed.

Throughout my life I felt a calling on my life I remember several times there was one time in particular I was very upset I needed a place to go. I went to the Catholic Church because that is all I knew, because that’s where I thought God was.

I opened the Catholic church doors, I couldn’t get in the front door it was locked so I went around the side  and I sat in this big church and I cried in the pews, and I said, “wear are you?”

And I realized he wasn’t there.

And it was the 70’s and there was a coffee house that says “Jesus lives” that door was also locked , but I was so persistent, that I went through a side door. I figured if I could do that in a church I possibly could do this at this coffee house.

I went in the side door. And I found myself in the middle of this room standing there on a hard wood floor. And this man turned the corner and said, “Can I help you?”

And I said, “I sure hope so.”

He could see that I was tormented; I had no shoes on cause I ran out of the house crying. And he could see that I needed something and I said, “Well the sign outside says Jesus lives and I know this is a coffee house, and I’m trying to find God, I need help,” and he said.

“The coffee house is downstairs you have walked into my home.”

[laughter]

And I said, “Well I am terribly sorry,”

And he said, “but I still think I can help you” and he took me aside and he gave me a new testament and he talked to me abut how God lives. And he told me I could read the new testament beginning in John and I was so glad that he told me that was a good place to start because if you remember from a previous podcast.

I promised I would read the whole bible cover to cover starting in Genesis
And that is not the best part to start reading as a new Christian.

I took his New Testament home with me, I brought hit home with me.

I had a friend who said she would like to take me to a lock in and I did. I want to go. And it was at that lock in that they gave an alter call. As you can tell by now, that I had spent so much time trying to find God in every place an every crack and corner that I could,  that when they said, did I want to know and have a personal relationship with God well of course I did, And I went forward.

And mom, a couple of weeks later I couldn’t wait to share that with you. You were already sober a couple of weeks sober but it wasn’t to long after getting into AA that I invited you to come to this same place in downtown buffalo. 

Barbara:  Yes, I remember that and going there, I don’t remember the message, it must have hit me, because as young girl I too was drawn to God, in fact I thought I should become a nun so that I could draw close to God, as I was growing up well that feel by the wayside after I met your dad.

After a while, I lost everything in the church, I just didn’t care I thought they were lying to me and I just couldn’t believe it but then I thought everybody was lying to me.

When you took me to that meting I don’t remember the message but

It must have really affected me, cause at the end when he asked did you want to get to know Jesus I put my hand up, and I can imagine now, your relief when I did that.

I put my hand up and they told me to come forward.  I didn’t want to do that.  This was all new to me, from someone from a conservative background even though the catholic background is very liturgical and everything. And then to ask a person to go forward.

I went forward, and thy asked me to go into a another room, and that really scared me.  I started to cry and I just said, “Give me your papers I’ll take your papers, but I don’t want to talk anymore I ‘m leaving.”

I said, in a previous broadcast that all the holy spirit needs is a crack, and he new bridgiees heart and he new my heart from when were little.

And he saw that crack in her heart when she was looking for coffee heart and Jesus lives

And he saw the crack in my heart when I raised up my hand,

Yes we did want the lord we were afraid, we didn’t know what to do, but yes we wanted the lord in our heats and in our lives.

It was after that and I said this to Bridgette before I  had a kind of slow awakening to God,

It wasn’t like going in and turning on a light bulb and all of a sudden the room was bright

It was like the sun rising in my life, when the Lord walked closer and closer to me and I walked closer and closer to him.

And it got brighter and brighter, that is how it was for me, more of just a into the light.

Bridgette: I would like to point out that I think that some people have a misconception that when they accept the Lord

Even going back to your sobriety when you become sober, it wasn’t like angels or fairies brought you to a better place and everything is fine.

it was  a journey, it was the beginning of a journey, they often tell you in  AA that sometimes sobriety can be more difficult on a family than the alcoholism because at least with the alcoholism everyone know their place and they know what they are supposed to do. But when you get sober it puts a kink in it, now you have to try and figure out where you fit. And that is where those support groups in AA, Alanon and Alateen help.

The same thing coming to know the lord, it wasn’t like again, angels came with beautiful wings and grabbed me and brought me to a better place and

And as you said, I had a lot of anger in me, I had a lot of things that I had to be healed of

And so did you. So this was the beginning of a journey,  accepting the lord and telling him you would like to have him Lord of your life

It doesn’t make everything perfect, but it give you a place to go and it give you something to work with. And through the years he can heal and through the years
He can restore again what the locust has eaten.
Which is what he has done with our family it is absolutely tremendous looking at our family today. People wouldn’t know that we are the family that we are talking about back then, and the love that is there.

Barbara:  At it is, ahh because of each of you three children, your backgrounds,  you made marriages that probably were not the best for you and all three of you got divorced.

And yet even as your father and I have stayed friend, not friend in the sense that I want anyone to think its all mooshey and all that we have stayed were we respect and honor each other. I can respect him for what he did, and didn’t do is beside the point.  He was instrumental in getting me to AA and that is good enough today I found out how that came about. But anyway.  All three of you children got divorces but yet all three of you have stayed close to your spouses. There has been Forgivene4ss and blessings that have piled up to cover up all of that pain.

Bridgette: I think that is the important part God was able to restore our family because we allowed forgiveness we asked f forgiveness and we accepted forgiveness,

It is through this forgiveness the healing can take place, because without forgiveness it is such an important element. You can’t be healed. If you are in a trauma now , without forgiveness , you can’t be healed

It is just impossible you ware going o stay right where you are.  I think that coming to know the Lord,
First it starts with the recovering of the alcoholic but also coming to know the Lord we learned how to forgive and we learned that we need forgiveness.

And that element has changed our lives drastically.

Barbara:  The forgiveness of one another has to be asked for and has to be given.

Whenever I ask for forgiveness I tell the other person I need you to say you forgive me. I need to hear that, and that is given and received, if the other person can’t say , they forgive you. Then the whole thing is still is in abeyance.

Well I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget!

That is not forgiveness forgiveness is putting it in gods hands and trusting him to take care of any feelings left to over.

I think I mentioned dot you bridgee , one of the hardest thing for me to do knowing how I was in those bad years. Was to forgive myself.  It took me longer to forgive myself, then it did to I had no trouble forgiving you kids, and asking your forgiveness, one, by one, by one, as things came up, but forgiving myself was the hardest thing I had to do. It took years to forgive myself.

 If anyone is listening they should know that , they still feel so guilty about what they did or didn’t do, keep seeking the Lord, because you will come to that place,  Lord help me to forgive myself, help me to forgive myself ,.and slowly I don’t know how he has done it, cause he is in the business of miracles slowly he does, he helps you to forgive yourself, there has been forgiveness and blessings that have piled up to cover up all of that pain over the years.

Bridgette: It just amazes me when I think of my family and how God has healed us all and if you are listening to this or have listened to these several broadcasts about mom and I going through our dark stages, or perhaps you need a mending between mother and daughter or anther family member I just want to encourage you to continue to pray and seek God, he can heal and he can give you the same blessing that he has given us in our lives.

I want to thank everybody for joining us and I want to also encourage you to visit our sponsor at God’s word collectibles at www.godsword.net

Thanks so much for joining me and thank you mom for sharing once again.

Barbara:  Your welcome dear.

Bridgette: I love you
Barbara:  I love you.

Announcer:
You are listening to the inspirational channel featuring topics that reflect on faith and the spiritual side of life.  Brought to you by God’s Word collectible sculptures found at www.godsword.net
Give God’s word as a gift.

Collect Gods word in your heart.