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Bridgette: Hello my name is Bridgette Mongeon I am the host of the inspirational channel of spot on radio.com brought to you by God’s Word collectible gift sculpture found at www.godsword.net . Welcome to generational podcast where three generations of Christian women will be sharing our thoughts about different issues and aspects of life Christina Diliberto, one of my co hosts and my daughter is on vacation and that is probably pretty good because my mom, and I are still going through the darkness so today it will just be my mom and I would like to introduce to you my mother and co host Barbara Ingersoll.

Mom, are you there?

Barbara:  I’m here honey.

Bridgette: Are you ready to go through some more darkness?

Barbara: I’m ready.

Bridgette: As difficult as it is to go through the darkness, this podcast excites me because we start to talk about the light, and I think that although it is darkness before the dawn as it was in the case both mother and in this next stage come to know the lord Mom becomes sober,

In the previous podcast we talked about mom’s alcoholism and drug addiction.
And living on Grand Island, we lived in a house that my father had built with is two hands, Though we had moved from the house that both my mother and I adored on Christiana street,  I am sure that the losing of the house on Grand Island was just as sad for my father because he put so much time and effort into that house.

And the reason that we lost that house was because of….
Well I don’t know all of the details because I was just a little girl, and I am not sure we need to share those details.
Other than the fact that Dad filed for bankruptcy, and I could imagine how difficult it was for him, because our home life was so hard, and that always affects a business.

We lost the house, and had to move to a subsidized housing, I guess it was, and we went on welfare. It must have been a pretty quick move, because I remember moving in the middle of the third grade. I remember going up to my teacher who was the only adult in my life at that time who was paying attention to me at that time.  

And I was trying to learn cursive writing at that time in the third grade on Grand Island but he said he would take extra time with me.

And when I finally go to know what I was doing, I pretended that I didn’t so that he would still pay attention to me still. I remember that very profoundly.

I also remember going up to him and crying and telling him we are moving, I said to him
“Now I know nothing beautiful in life last because I have to leave my good teacher and my school.” I think that was the mentality that I had.

Later on I did have quote that said,

“As we experience the beautiful things in life, they are not as I had dreamt them to be. And I sometimes wonder if the rest of life is beautiful or just a dream.” ( Bridgette Mongeon)

I was very young when I began to write and that was one of the things that I wrote about.

Moving to Kenmore caused me some difficulty because, well I also had to get glasses that year, and we were on welfare when we went to get glasses. I wanted wire rim glasses because that is what we were wearing thin the 70’s but I had to get cat-eyed glasses. Cause me pain a child going to a new school with cat eyeglasses

Barbara:  I vaguely remember it was the middle of the grade, but I didn’t know what grade.

Bridgette: We had talked about mom having hallucinations. I don’t know what you can remember about the hallucinations on the street in Kenmore.  Can you tell me anything about them?

Barbara:   No!

Bridgette: I do remember you telling us that bugs were crawling on you and for what I know now from alcoholism that is probably part of the DDT part of the experience that an alcoholic will have as they are withdrawing from alcohol.

Barbara:  I do, as I was withdrawing. There were a lot of things after I went to AA that were part of that withdrawal. I should have really been in a hospital. I was really severe; alcoholic I should have withdrawn in a hospital. but I didn’t I just quit cold turkey at home. And so a lot of that stuff I went through at home.

That business about the bugs and all of that and things in my mouth and a lot of that I do remember.

Bridgette: I remember prior to you going to AA it became extremely difficult because the family would sit downstairs and try to watch a television show.

Mom was on the second floor and she would scream and scream, and we would all just look at each other and wonder who was going to sit with her next.  IT was a horrific experience. Although it was a horrific experience we did not talk about it to each other.  I often talk about how it is kind of like how you are living with a pink polka doted elephant in the middle of the living room Everyone steps around and everyone knows it is there it and it is very inconvenient and it is a problem but no body talks about it with each other not within your family and definitely not with outside the family.

Am I right there, mom?  

Barbara:  Oh yes,

Bridgette: It becomes the family secrete.  

They always say that an alcoholic has to hit their bottom, can you share with us what your bottom was.

Barbara: Well, I can’t really say, how I go to the bottom, I just now it kept getting worse, and worse, and worse.

I stole money from your piggy bank I don’t know if you remember that?

Bridgette: I remember that mom that it was a little milk jar and I had baby sat, and my father was going to take me to the fair and you stole the money out of my little bank to go and buy alcohol and I came up to you and I screamed at you I let it lose at that time, and I spit on the floor and I said that is what I think of you, I hate you.
 
Barbara:  And that was your mantra for a long time. I hate you, I hate you,

You used to write me hate letters and throw them at me. And stomp away.

Even after I became sober that hate was still there, it took a while for that hate to get healed.

 But anyway, the way I became sober, too many things were happening, the marriage to your father was … it was in such bad shape, from the bankruptcy. I didn’t realize until after I got sober that he too was an alcoholic but he could function.

He never was around the family more than he had to be, as an adult he could get away, and I didn’t realize that all I knew is he wasn’t there for me.

Bridgette: We always know where to find him. We kept the number for the local bar at the phone.

Barbara:  If I were the person I am today would have gone to the bar, pulled him off of the seat and said, “get home!” But I am not the same person that I was then I was terrified of everything.

Bridgette: When you are looking at it there was some parenting skills there; at least he gave us the number of where he was going to be.

[laughter]
Where your dad id
If there is an emergency

 Barbara:  That is true

An emergency number

Bridgette: It was interesting the bartender would always give dad the call from the kids.  So we knew that if there was something that happened we could get a hold of him, it wasn’t like he was going to pretend he wasn’t there.

Barbara:  See that, so the bar tender would never tell me he was there, he would tell me “no he was here but he left, or no he hasn’t been here and that is what I would always hear.

Bridgette: That is why the kids had to call
[laughter]
Barbara:  That is why I gave you the number so you could call, right [laughter]


Anyway… there came a day, finally after there were so many things that I really don’t want to go into because, alt of it would be speaking against your dad, and though we both contributed to the ah, the horror of our marriage, it had nothing to do with you kids.  

I don’t want to speak against him now, because he and I have forgiven each other and gone on with our lives, and I love his wife, and everything is peaceful now between us.

So I don’t want to dredge up those old things. I just will tell you they were horrible.

Anyway.
One day he said to me, “If you don’t call AA I’m taking the kids and I’m leaving you.“
Well now he would leave me a lot of times and he was gone for days or a week, but he always came back but he never, ever threatened to take my kids.  And when he said that, that was the final straw. I couldn’t lose my kids. So I called AA. And It is very easy to find in the phone book it is AA, you can’t miss it, first number in the phone book AA. And I called AA and told them I needed to go to a meeting and they said something to me about, can you come tonight?

I said “Oh no,” because I was withdrawing, I mean I was coming off a drunk.

I said, “Oh no I couldn’t come tonight, I would stagger”, and the young lady at the other end said, “Honey, we have all staggered.” And when she that it sounded so inclusive to me, like I wasn’t alone, we all staggered.

Well I said, “If someone will help me, and pick me up, I’ll go.”  And they did.

That is the first day of my sobriety which has held to this day.

But…
Bridgette:  Can I share something with you about that?
Barbara:  yes

Bridgette:  I remember, just prior to dad telling you that, when he dad told you that was your bottom, I remember him sitting in the chair, I can remember this as if it were yesterday and I crawled up into his lap, and it was one of those times that you were screaming at the top of the stairs that you were scared and frightened, and we were all at our wits ends. And I crawled into his arms, and I looked at him and he held me and I said, I wish she were dead.

Barbara:  It is o.k. Honey

Bridgette:  And I cried because I felt bed that I wished you were dead
It’s o.k.

Barbara:  but I think he then knew hw traumatic this was on us, and he knew he needed to get us away from it.

Barbara:  Oh… I see,

Bridgette:  So I am glad… I’m glad that he was brave enough to say, cause I’ll tell you what taking three kids and being a single dad is no an easy choice, but he was willing to make that choice. I am glad to he made that choice.

I remember the day you went to AA you had a broken arm, cause you had fallen down the stairs do you remember that?

Barbara:  That is right.  I do remember I had a big cast on it and It was so rotten dirty, because I could never stay sober to get the cast off.

Bridgette:  And I think you did it falling down the stairs trying to get to the laundry room.  And I remember the dress you wanted to wear had a bleach stain on it, cause you couldn’t really do laundry so… I remember helping you get dressed.

Barbara:  No.

Bridgette:  I do I remember you said you were scared but that you needed to do this.

Barbara:  I was scared; I was scared all the time.  What you are afraid of I have no idea now, because god has taken care those fears for me and healed every single one of them. But at the time, the fear was ever presence and it is all invasive, a constant fear.
Well anyway
Someone did pick me up and took me to an AA meeting and it was in the basement of a church. I went down there and they had what they call a beginners table

I sat at the beginner’s table and they went around the table and each one shared their part of their story, much of the way I am sharing now and the way we are sharing.

I was just so awe struck that they knew, that they really new. I didn’t say anything.

And finally the moderator said to me at the end, Barbara you have not said anything, are you getting anything out of this?

And I said one word and it was “hope”, and I held onto that hope until I could get faith and get some sobriety behind me as I was going through the ddt’s and all of that.
I held on to that hope.

I went to meetings every day, every single day, to AA meetings.  Because I wanted to be sure that I would stay sober. And that is that part Hon

Bridgette:  I’ll also add quickly as mom went to AA there is also Alanon, which is a support group for those people who are living with an alcoholic and they have Alateen.

And I got into Alateen right after mom got into AA.  And that support group helped me to know how to handle mom’s sobriety.

It also can help, if you are a teenager how tot handle someone who is not sober and how to deal with it. And how to take control of your own life, and these support groups are great for the family members that are have to live with this.  

I also encourage you that if you know a teenager and you know they are living in a home that has some type of dysfunction life this I just pray and ask that you will take it upon yourself to take them to regular meetings. Because you just might be


Saving a child from something that is too hard to handle on their own. I encourage you to do that, if you’re a grandparent or you’re an aunt, or maybe even family member or a friend.

Also they have Alatot these day. I don’t know if you knew that mom?

Barbara:  Right!

Bridgette:  I guess just like handling psychological problems with little ones, they know how to do it properly. I am grateful they have these support groups.

I think it is very interesting that my story last podcast was about hope and your story this podcast is about hope. I think that it is important to say that if you say that you need help.  And I know AA stresses this.

AA is also good… you just don’t have to be an alcoholic.

If you have any type of addictions, there are support groups for every type of an addiction that you can think of and I just encourage you to find your support and your help, because sometimes you can’t go through it yourself.

I know in these support groups they often talk about I know in AA they talk about your higher power which a lot of people talk about as God, and you will hear mom and I talk about God and Jesus and Christianity but your higher power can be anything, it can even be your support group. I have heard people say, it does not matter if your higher power is the tree in the backyard; you have to give your life over to a higher power.

Barbara:  Well we are running out of time but I will say a tree will do for a little while,  

Laughter

Barbara:  But you can’t put all of your hope in a tree, because lighting can come and that will be the end of the tree but nothing will be the end of God. And nothing can change that for me.  No person saying anything or anything else can change that for me.

I would like to thank our guests for listening to our story and I would like to thank my mom for sharing it with me.

Next podcast we are going to tell you how we both came to know God as our personal
Lord and savior, which is again a very profound experience between the two of us another connection we had. I encourage you to join us next time

We would also like to encourage you to visit our sponsor please go to the God’s word.net website and check out the wonderful sculptures and the messages behind each one of those sculptures, mom thanks, I hope you have a great day. We’ll see you again next time.

Announcer:
You are listening to the inspirational channel featuring topics that reflect on faith and the spiritual side of life.  Brought to you by God’s Word collectible sculptures found at www.godsword.net
Give God’s word as a gift.

Collect Gods word in your heart.